And another thing...

I walk the floor.

Tonight I had one of the cushy jobs at the Undisclosed Customer Service Center™. I was walking the floor. This means I did not have to take calls. I was walking up and down the rows waiting for that deer-in-the-headlight look to come over one of the new hires in consumer customer service. I was there to answer questions. And what questions they were.

I have been a tech router for a while now, talking to techs and routing them to other techs. So I had forgotten what dense questions can be put to the unsuspecting cc agent.

"This lady can't tell if her caps lock is on or not."
"Is this a joke?"
"No, she says there are no lights on her keyboard."
"And the typing in all CAPS isn't tipping her off at all?"

"This guy just defraged his computer and now he has a trial version of the software on it. He never had it before, now he has it."
"He used the restore disk."
"He says he didn't."
"He's lying. He doesn't know he's lying but he is. Ask him 'how' he defraged."
Turns out he used the disk.

"This guy wants to know how to de-activate his software."
"Why?"
"He wants to format his device and start again."
"Once he formats, it will be de-activated."
How long did he wait on hold for that pearl of wisdom?

"This woman wants to know if we can do tech support on her computer without her being in front of it."
"Is that really a question?"
Blank stare.
Thanks for playing.

And another thing...

A co-worker asks how I got approved for a day off for tomorrow.

"Well at first she told me that I couldn't have it and I just calmly explained why I needed it. She agreed."

"Really? And that worked?"

"Yes, then I let go of her throat."