Saturday, August 23, 2003

It takes all kinds.

Thank you for calling Undisclosed Customer Service Center� my name is�.�

�Ya, I have the virus, how do I get rid of it?�

I get all the pertinent info from this guy. Version of software etc. He is OEM.

�...and who is your internet service provider?�

�I don't� have the internet.�
Are you kidding me?

�Ah, sir, you don�t have the virus then.�

�Oh yes I do, the computer is not working, and it is telling me I have a worm.�

No it is not! People try and get free support by saying they have the worm. Some moron leaked it that if it is a virus problem, we take care of it regardless of your warranty status.

If you have this problem, it will NOT say you have the virus. Most people who call in and have it, have no idea that is what it is. It does NOT say you have a worm. That is NOT the error message you get. Stop trying to get support for free if you are not eligible for it. You WILL NOT get past me.

�Sir, if you do not have internet access, you are completely safe from this virus. Now, if you computer is not working properly and you want technical support we have a pay per incident line available to you. That would require a $35 charge to a major credit card but that would let you speak��.�


Fuck-off dumbass.

And Another Thing...

"Thank you for calling Undisclosed Customer Service Center� my name is�.�

�Ya, this virus thing, how do I know if I have it?�

�what is your computer doing?�

�I don�t know, I am on vacation.�

�Are you connected to the internet.�

�I have dial up.�

�Ok, what type of anti-virus software do you have.�

�I�m not sure.�

�Is there a small icon down by where the date is? It will say there.�

�I don�t have my computer with me.�
And you thought it was a good idea to call now?

�Ah, sir, I really can�t help you if you are not in front of the computer.�

�Really? Well can�t you just tell me what to do if I do have the virus?�

�No, I would have to verify your software first.�


�Well, if you have unlicensed software, I won�t be able to help you.�

�You mean pirated? I paid for mine.�

If you SAY so, dumbass.


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