I am awoken from a dead sleep the other night. I can hear chewing. I don't know if any of you have ever had a gerbil or small rodent that chewed cardboard but that was exactly what it sounded like and it was really loud.
Great! So I follow the sound that just keeps getting louder and louder into the kitchen. It's the middle of the night and all I can think about is what the hell will I do with it when I find it?
I think I have located the culprit. I am convinced by the shear volume that it is coming from this bag. (another reason not to recycle)
Now I am forced to formulate a plan at 3 in the morning, not my sharpest time I can tell you that. Did I mention I am holding a knife? No? Oh, well I am not sure what I had planned to do with the knife but I am holding it. Then I think, wait, I am NOT stabbing anything. Way too messy.
The bag is not moving but from the sounds of it, the 'thing' is in the bag and it is chomping on cardboard. LIGHTBULB!
I grab the bag by the top (making mental note that I do not feel any weight to it) and make a b-line for the door and fire it outside. Relief. Short lived when I realize the reason I did not feel any weight to the bag. I can still hear the chomping. Back into the kitchen I go, same spot (sans bag) and I can still hear the chomping. Relief again, it is not IN the house but it is IN the house. Looks and sounds like whatever it is, it is inside the wall. This being the outside wall off the deck I plan to investigate...in the morning.
Of course for the next few days it is bitter cold and windy so I do not even venture out to get the mail. In the mean time I tell the landlord the story of the chomping. So today he shows up with a mouse trap. He hands it to me.
"What the hell is this for?"
"Uh, Dude, if I thought the thing was inside, so would you be. And you wouldn't be leaving without the body of said thing in your hand."
I had actually been investigating and I believe I know what is going on. I explain it to the landlord but I can show y'all with pictures.
First, there is the trail.
So you can see where it is coming up the stairs and where it is going when it gets there. And since it is not 40 below with the windchill I can get a closer look at where it is going.
Seems like the flashing has come off the eave, and BINGO!
A big-ass hole with what appears to be hair. I think we have found its front door. The landlord throws a block of poison inside and a little treat for outside.
I think that should take care of whatever it is. I really hope I see a dead body but I am okay with never knowing if that is to be the case. Dead is dead.