Tuesday, November 8, 2005

Merging on the information highway.

My sister is on the internet, although I am not entirely sure she realizes it yet.

My sister moved, again. This time she has bought a trailor in the middle of Butt-Fuck-Nowhere. Last week she called and asked if I would come over if the cable guy hadn't shown up before she had to go to work.

"I thought you already had cable?"

"Ya, this is for the high speed internet."
I didn't think she even knew what that was.

"Do you even have a computer?" I don't remember moving a computer the last 15 times she moved in the last month.

"Ya, the old one from the house." Holy shit.

The 'old one' from her old house that we coudln't even get dialup to work on properly. The old one running windows 95. The old one that we couldn't find USB ports to work with. This is what she thinks the cable guy is going to hook up high speed internet on.

Time to call cousin Sonny, the family geek. "What do you got that is internet ready?" Thankfully he had something kicking around.

"It's nothing fancy, but it will run high speed."

"No worries, she doesn't need anything fancy. As long as it won't make the cable guy laugh out loud."

So, we are ready for the internet. Cute, young eye candy cable guy shows up to hook up hook us up. In a few we are online. I do all the standard updates and install the instant messeging agent and away we go. Before I leave I add myself to her messenger.

That is the last I heard of her. I can see her online, but I assume that she has just never logged off since I was there. I try and messege her, but I am positive that she has no idea what that flashing orange thing is.

Turns out the only reason she got high speed internet is so she could get free cable. She will aparently wait a few weeks and cancel the cable and then splice it back through her cable internet. The internet she never uses.

I do not pretend to know how her mind works. I just pray every day that she doesn't become an grease spot while trying to cross the street on her own.


Anonymous said...

U are so Evil.. speaking about your BIG sister like that!

Anonymous said...

LMFAO ooooooh my... yet another reason to be glad i'm an only child. cuz i'd have to laugh in her face if she was mine :D but hey, she's not stupid really, just an odd way of settin it all up LOL