Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Just what are little boys made of?

Just when I thought I was bored with the internet, Radmilla to the rescue. Her November 26th blog entry about Maverick Mothers.

Referencing an article about this book: Drexler, Peggy F. with Linden Gross. Raising Boys Without Men: How Maverick Moms Are Creating the Next Generation of Exceptional Men.

Ya, this sounds more like someone figured out a way to get money from the government for another bogus research project.

Even if these boys are raised by just their mother lesbian or not, it does not mean they have no male influence and she does qualify her research by saying,

"Maverick mothers, ... seek out male role models, collect friends to form an extended family around their sons, and often go outside their comfort zone to offer a variety of activities and enriching experiences."

In a perfect world this would mean that these boys would be influenced by only the most perfect specimens of men. But in reality it is more likely that the 'Maverick Mothers' have little or no control over which male is influencing their sons or how.

Consider this. Forget for a moment that the boy even has a father. I got him a Big Brother. He was a perfect specimen, a college student (but not a geek), responsible, loved sports and his mother, no criminal record, fiance (a perky cheerleader type) who he eventually married. They had a baby, he became a teacher and a perfect hands-on father. He is a perfect role model.

Now, did that keep my son from becoming an occasional asshole? No. He says and does things that his big brother wouldn't in a million years. I often think that giving him this man in his life may have been a double edged sword. On one side you have the perfect nuclear family, something to aspire to? On the other it may have caused some resentment. Like, why can't my father be like this or why isn't my mother like her.

Even if you could control which male influence you subject your son to, you can't control how that figure influences your son. Am I making any sense? It is 6:30 in the AM.

I think that the only way for this chick, Drexler, to prove her theory is to raise these boys on an island with just women. No tv, video, or even interaction with the other boys. Male influence is male influence. They are going to get it whether she likes it or not. She can only control the where of the equation.

See the only thing she is proving is that a boy without a father in the home is a boy without a father in the home.

All you can do is love them and hope for the best. Boys are not just lab experiments, they have brains that are influenced by everything around them.


nadine said...

I agree.. boy/girls being brought up by men/woman.. as long as they are loved.. you just have to hope for the best.. however.. the thing about a boy (or any male) "they have brains " .. comment you made.. leaves me a little concerned :o)

Radmila said...

Excellent points Eva!

kelly said...

yeah, i'd like to point out that oxymoron as well...boys have brains? lol