Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Survival of the fittest.

I am not a cook. That said, there are two exceptions. Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Now when I say I am not a cook. I don�t mean that I can�t cook, I mean I do not cook. If you see me at the grocery store ringing up my purchases, you would swear I was a frat boy with just a hot plate and a microwave in my dorm room. It is all pre-packaged and microwavable. It all makes perfect sense considering the fact that I don�t do dishes.

But hey, its Thanksgiving and the �boy� was looking a little peckish so I decided at noon on Saturday (my day off) that I would have turkey dinner. Its not the best idea on a holiday weekend to go and search for a turkey but as luck (or unluck) would have it, I found not only a turkey but an unfrozen one.

I spend the rest of the afternoon making stuffing, cutting potatoes, peeling carrots, the whole nine yards. The turkey is almost done at 5 and I proceed to turn on the veggies.

This is the point where my stove, who as you remember is only asked to perform twice a year, decides to lose its mind.

�WTF? We didn�t discuss this. You want to turn the oven on? Ok, and what? ALL the burners? At once? I am gonna have to think about this.� �Ya know what? NO!�

I just get the veggies to a rolling boil when the fuses for the burners blow. POP! POP! POP!

The sane thing to do at that moment would be to go out and find some fuses to replace it. It was after supper on a holiday weekend, I would have to search the various convenience stores for fuses. That would have taken effort and I am all about taking the low road. Now, since I really didn�t have any company coming, I decided to go another way. I just cooked the veggies one at a time on the one remaining burner. (Martha Stewart, I ain�t.)

Needless to say it was midnight before my turkey dinner was ready for consumption. But it was damn good. If I do say so myself. Now I have until Dec 24 to get new fuses for the stove. Maybe Santa will put some in my stocking.

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