Sunday, October 19, 2003

More money than brains.

Thank you for calling Undisclosed Customer Service Center� my name is blah blah blah�

�Ya, my online banking is not working.�

�Ok, what version of the product are you using?�


�Well, Mamme, 2000 is now considered an obsolete program. That is probably why you are experiencing problems. As your bank updates, the further behind you stay the more problems you are going to have.�

�Can�t you help me?�

�Well, not with the obsolete programs, we have no one here trained on them. The banking program is upgraded every year so they go obsolete pretty quick. If you were to upgrade to 2004, which is the newest version, it should solve your problem. Now, if it doesn�t you can call us back and we do provide free support for the new version.�

�Oh, that�s how its gonna be is it? A scheme to make us buy new software.�

�No Mamme, you can use the 2000 version forever if you like, as long as your bank doesn�t upgrade then you don�t have to.�

�But this thing is only 3 years old.�

�We put out a new version of that every year.�

�So I have to buy this thing again?�

�No Mamme, you don�t have to do anything, but if you want to do online banking you may have to. You can call your bank and see if they can support the 2000. The banks require encryption updates in order to make online banking more secure. Encryption that existed in 2000 may not be adequate for today�s banking needs. And since we cannot predict the future here at the Undisclosed Customer Service Center�, we come out with a new version of the banking software every year. That is why the price is so affordable.� (its $20, but she wouldn�t let me get that out of my face before she lost her mind.)

She is screaming now, �Or I could just buy Quicken, cuz you guys suck. You can just go f#$%...�


That time she hung up on me. Before I could tell her that Quicken was $80 as opposed to our $20. A perfect example of more money than brains.

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