And another thing...

Know who your mugger is.

�Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center�..blah blah blah.�

�Ya, Every time I try and save a file in my Word Perfect it wont save the images�.� she is frantically talking a mile a minute.

As soon as she said Word Perfect I zoned out, I am now just waiting for her to shut the fuck up and let me get a word in edgewise.

�...I see the images when I am saving but when I bring it back the images are gone and�.�

�Excuse me Mamme? Did you say Word Perfect?�

�Yes�.� she is off on another tangent she is not listening to me as I try to interrupt her.

I am going to have to raise my voice, �MAMME! I am sorry, but we cannot help you with Word Perfect.�

�What do you mean you won�t help me?� That got her attention. �Oh, I suppose you want to squeeze some money out of me? That's what it is all about with you people, turn us upside down and shake more money out of us.�

�No Mamme, I can�t help you with Word Perfect because it is not our software. Are you sure you don�t mean Word or WordPad?�

�I know what the hell I am doing here, I am not an idiot! I have been working with Word Perfect for years. This is not something I did, it is a problem with your software!� I bit my tongue on the idiot line. Was waiting for her to say �..hey I am not computer literate�..� They usually get it backwards.

�Actually Mamme, it may well be a problem with the software, but it isn�t our software. Word Perfect is made by Corel, this is Undisclosed Computer Software Company� you would have to contact Corel for support with Word Perfect.�

�Your telling me that Bill is taking all our money and he won�t even support the software?� She is freaking out! I am going to have to dumb it down a bit so she will get the picture.

�Mamme, Bill, didn�t take your money on this one, Derek Burney
did. You will have to call him and ask him how it works. We don�t train our techs to fix other peoples software.�

Silence. I think it is sinking in that she has called the wrong place. She feels like an idiot�.I can feel it. I like the feeling. Any second she is going to hang up.

So I wait, in silence.

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Next crayon.