Thursday, November 20, 2008

That is not how I roll.

This post at 'list of the day' got me thinking about what I would refuse to eat.

Bare in mind, I am a fat chick so the list is short. I can't say I agree with everything on Cary's will-not-eat list because unlike him I really don't over think food. Mostly because if it tastes really good, I would be extremely distressed to learn it was actually horse shit or bug barf.

I would still eat it...but I would be distressed.

However illogical that last statement makes this list. Here it is.

1. Milk. Ok, I don't actually never drink milk. However, I do it sparingly and I can count on one hand the number of times (besides cream in my coffee) that I have had milk (straight) in the past 10 years.

"Oh, milk is good for you." Who exactly decided this? You squeeze it out of the tits of cows, tits that are dangerously close to the part the shit comes out of. It's cow juice. If animal juice is so good for you, why not milk the cat? Cuz it's gross, that's why. Even though cats are way cleaner than cows. They only chose cows for the shear volume. There is no money in milking cats...the overhead would kill ya.

2. Head cheese. Dude, my father ate this stuff all the time. You don't have to taste it to know it is disgusting. I went with name recognition. I recognize that head cheese sounds gross. I refuse to go there.

3. Sushi - its raw fish. I shouldn't have to explain.

4. Oysters or mussels. Oysters I have never tried. I agree with Cary, they look like loogies. Mussels I have tried until I realized they look like vaginae, it's not how I roll. They were not tasty enough to cancel out the gross factor.

5. Tofu - I don't get it. I ain't eatin' it.

6. If I can recognize the location on the animal from which the meat has come from I will not eat it. Feet, ears, tails, tongue. YUCK!

7. Calamari - you can call it any fancy name you want, I ain't eating nothing with suckers. Scratch that, I am not eating anything that could potentially attack and eat or kill me.

8. If some rich person calls it a delicacy, forget it....not going there. Rich people are bored and most are idiots when it comes to culture. Show them a urinal nailed to a gallery wall and they will ooo and awe about the symbolism. (Dude, the symbolism is that the artist had to take a leak) But hey, if you can make money on the leftover shit that you can't sell to reasonable people (guts and eyeballs) then more power to ya, brother.

Weird or disgusting stuff I have eaten. (most when I was pregnant)
- peanut butter sandwiches dipped in chocolate pudding. (actually that was pretty good)
- peanut butter sandwiches with apple slices and/or bbq potato chips.
- pickled herring. It sounds weird, but it is really tasty. (Yes, I know its raw fish, I told you, there is no logic.)

What does your list look like?


Radmila said...

sous...which is pickled pigs feet, ears, whatever.

aspic...see above, only in savory gelatin. already mentioned why

I love the calamari though...if it's done well as a lot of sushi...but some maki I can't do because of the texture.

I'm with you on the milk thing.

Chocolate milk because they use the bloody milk for that...which explains why it's more purply than brown. They use the bloody milk for chocolate milk because they can't sell it as regular milk..bleh.

Evel said...

Rad, I did not need to know about the chocolate milk thing......I am erasing it from my memory now.