Ask me if I care.
"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Technical Support Department™ my name is blah blah blah..."
I have half an hour left on my shift and I am not looking forward to my last call, I am hoping I can get the hell out of here on time.
This dude starts with 'Once upon a time...'. Fuckin great! I won't bore you with the rant, but after 25 minutes I get the following earth shattering revelations from this crayon:
M.ic.ro.sof.t has sent him a virus - Of course they have, they often send out viruses so that people will call in for the 'FREE' virus support. Bill has way too much money and he is sick of laundering it.
M.ic.ro.sof.t is hacking his computer - again, why not? After all you are a big important man with top secret information. No? Ok, you must be a bank president with pass codes to millions of dollars. Huh? No? Ok, then you must have launch codes, that must be it. No? Your kidding? What the hell makes you think anyone, let alone M.ic.ro.sof.t gives a rats ass about what you have on your computer. Get real!
M.ic.ro.sof.t is taking over the world and Bil.l Ga.te.s is the Anti-Christ - Holy shit! Get Bill on the horn, we have to warn him, the jig is up. Oh, no worries, I forgot, they are hacking this guys computer, they can erase his evidence. Whew, close one.
Turns out this guy had DELL OEM software installed on his computer, decided to install that DELL software on his Gateway/Sony Frankenstein machine and then the M.ic.ro.sof.t server says it is not genuine.
No shit, Sherlock! That is because its not!