Thursday, July 31, 2003

My Day Off To-Do List

Spent my day off fixing the BBQ and my son�s bike, cleaning the house and painting my nails.

The BBQ was a nightmare. I had to replace the burner in it, and considering that it is over 5 years old, you can imagine how hard it was to take it apart. There was a lot of grunting and groaning going on, and not in a good way. I finally had to resort to brute force and got out the bolt cutters. (yes, I have bolt cutters URGH URGH URGH)

It was probably the most grunting and groaning the neighbors have heard from my house since I moved here. Years ago I used to be all about that, along with drinking and partying, but I just don�t have the bone structure for it anymore. Finally, success. Fired 'er up and slapped on a $10 T-Bone, some roasted potatoes and fresh baked rolls. MMMMMM getting hungry just from the memory.

After I beat the BBQ into submission, I tackled the bike. Who knew that changing a tube would cause so much drama. I quit a couple of times after I found my self cursing at this inanimate object like it was putting up a fight or something. I almost grounded it at one point. I had to walk away. I was so mad at one point I was actually driven to start cleaning my room. If you knew me you would be concerned for my mental health. I snapped out of it so don�t worry. Around midnight I decided to harass all the people that don�t have Wednesday�s off at the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� which reminds me. I have to tell you about the winner of the �Dumb As A Post� award from last night.

Welcome to the Undisclosed Customer Service Center�. My name is blah blah blah.

After explaining to this crayon that his Product Y (which he had installed in the computer but didn�t have the physical copy of) was obsolete he proceeded to tell me that I should send him another copy for free.

�Sure, no problem, why don�t I send you a new computer while I�m at it?� I really thought he was kidding.

�You don�t have to get snotty with me, You say the product is obsolete and you don�t sell it anymore, I want you to send me one of the hundred thousand copies you got laying around in your desk.�

Shit, he�s serious. �Sorry sir, we really don�t have any copies of Product Y.� We are a call center you idiot. We don�t work out of the wharehouse.

�I know you have it�.let me speak to your supervisor...NO, I want to speak to the man in charge. Put me through to Bill.� People think we all sit at Bill�s house and take calls. More than one person has asked to speak to Bill. Oh ya, we are just chillin� at Bill�s. Between calls we clean the pool.

�I can�t do that sir, you can talk to my supervisor.�

�I don�t want to talk to the supervisor, I want to know why this product is obsolete, how can it be, I still use it?�

I explain the lifecycle of software.

�That�s crazy, if it still works how can it be obsolete?�

�Well sir, just because, theoretically, you could use a rotary phone, good luck finding one for sale in a store.�

�This conversation is going nowhere. Just send me the God damned copy.�
He is screaming.

�Ok sir, what is your email address?� �There, I�ll hit send.�

He is screaming incoherently.


I love my job

No comments: