If a tree falls in the forest...
"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Internet Service Provider™ my name is blah blah blah..."
"We had a guy here that tried to set up a router for us. He couldn't get it working so we scrapped the whole setup."
"Ok, how can I help?" Since we don't support routers.
"Well after he put the computer back directly on the modem, we couldn't connect."
Three minutes later, I had the computer online. He set a static IP for the computer and all I had to do was set it for automatic. Simple. Thanks for calling, right?
Wrong. Crayon alert.
"Ok, but this all happened two weeks ago. Who do I speak to to get a credit for the last two weeks?"
"Did you call in two weeks ago?" As I check the notes to see if someone somhow missed this obvious fix?
"No, I didn't' really have time, this is the first time I called."
How do I respond to this? "But your service was working, I can't really give you a credit."
"Well no, I didn't have service for two weeks. I shouldn't have to pay for it."
"Here's the thing. I couldn't give you a credit unless there was an established time line showing you were without service. For instance, several calls to tech support where you couldn't get online and a tech could not get you online. Then we would look at that and issue a credit for the two weeks that you were without service. However, had you called in two weeks ago, you would have been online within three minutes. You were never actually without service."
"I disagree." No shit.
"Let me put it to you this way. You wouldn't get a credit for cable service, just because you didn't turn your tv on. The service was there, you just weren't using it."
"I disagree, I want to speak to a supervisor."
Good luck with that, off you go.