And another thing...

Picture it, Sicily....kidding.

I was working Saturday night, it was about 11:30pm. Consumer tech support closes at 7pm. Premier support is 24/7 so here I sit.

We are also still open for Pro support but only if your servers are down and your boss is ready to give it to you up the ass. To save you from this fate we now charge you double the going rate. People love this.

Anyway, this dude calls at 11:30pm. His name is Mike Lafiette.(this is important later)

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center™ my name is blah blah blah..."

"I bought your crappy software."

Your going to have to be more specific. "Which crappy software are you refering to?"

"Fli.gt Sim 2002. It is crap and I want you to send me a new disk." It's crap, but he wants to replace it.

"Sorry sir, that department is closed. How long have you had it?"

"Three years."

"Then I doubt you can get your money back for it."

"It is crap, I want you to send me a new disk."

"As I said, that department is closed, and I don't think you can even get that disk from us anymore. It is out of production. It is 4 years old and..."

He interrupts me to go on a tirade about going to the support, that is in India and they are making everything worse, and Bill sucks and he is a money grubber and doesn't support his software and on and on and on.

I try and explain to him that the consumer support is closed, so is the replacement desk and so on and so forth.

"What the hell are you doing there then?"

"I am a technical router for developer products and premier customers."

"THAT'S CUSTOMER TEIRING AND IT IS ILLEGAL!"

"It's not teiring, if you need tech support at any hour, you pay for it."

"Look, if you wanted to you could give me a disk."

"No really, sir, I couldn't even if I wanted to."

"Just go down the hall and get me one."

"Sir I am in Nova Scotia..."

"A FUCKIN' CANADIAN. Now I get it.....you won't help me cuz I'm French."

"How would I know you were French?"

"With a name like Lafiette?" I had forgotten his name. "All you Canadians hate the french."

"Sir, we don't hate the French, we hate the French Canadians, there's a difference." I was growing weary of being civil to him.

"Look, this disk is fucked and I want another one."

"What makes you think it is defective."

"Well I install the Fli.ght Sim and it works for about a month and then it craps out and I have to reinstall."

"Well then there is nothing wrong with the disk, it installs properly."

"I want help with this then."

"As I said, that department is closed, only professional support is open..."

"This says Fli.ght Sim PROFESSIONAL."

"It's still just a game, Sir."

"What if I told you that I use this to train pilots."

"I would say 'thanks for the heads up, I will never fly again'."

This is where he lost his mind and I decided to have a 'phone malfunction'.

They just don't pay me enough.