And another thing...

If your gonna rifle through my pockets, at least buy me dinner.

I am being blackmailed by the Nova Scotia Minor Hockey Association.

"The boy" is in his second year of hockey. The first year he played recreational hockey, he had fun and he improved quickly. Recreational hockey is what we call house league, non competitive, no one will ever see them play except for their parents. Within this house league, children who are slightly better are placed on what is called a B team, competitive hockey, a little bit of traveling. It is where kids can compete and still have fun.

Now there is also A, AA, and AAA. These are the hard core competitive hockey teams, with provincial competitions. It costs more to register ($140 more than house) plus you have to pay ($45) just to try out for these A teams. Not to mention all the expenses of traveling. I am told it can cost a family with only one kid playing approximately $5000 per year.

There are a lot of really good players that never try out for the A teams, not because they can't make the A teams but for the simple fact that their parents simply can't afford it. They sign up for house and end up on the B teams, and are very happy to be there.

Well this year, the powers that be, have decided that if you do not try out for an A team, you cannot be considered for the B team. So now we all have been blackmailed into paying $45 to try out for a team that we don't want to play for, just so we can be considered for the team we do.

And here's the kicker. If by some chance our kids "make" the A team? They have to play for the A team or get bumped right back to the house league, and cannot be considered for the B team.

Here�s the back story. Last year one B team was filled with kids who were A material, but couldn�t afford to play A. After wiping up the ice the entire season, the other B couches complained and they ended up being classified as an A team. Since each division can have only 1 A team represent them in the provincials, the two teams had to play each other to see who would go.

The B team won. Imagine the egg on the coaches faces when they had to tell the parents, who paid close to $5000 that year for their kids to play hockey, that their kids were beaten by a B team and wouldn�t be going to provincials.

In order to avoid this, these coaches are going to bury these potential B players in house. You see if they make an A team and refuse to play, they are bumped straight back to house where no one will ever see that they are A material, they can't even be considered for the B team. Understand? And most of those kids who are bumped will simply not play hockey this year, it would just be no fun for them. It would be like Mark McGuire having to play little league. But that is what these coaches will do to keep from being embarrassed again.

So if my son makes this A team he is trying out for he is screwed. What the hell is up with that? What kind of message is that to give a kid? Now he is talking about screwing up the try outs on purpose, a lot of kids are talking this way. Is this the way we want our kids to view sports? You have to manipulate the system in order to get a fair deal?

Well let me tell you that if my son makes the A team, I am gonna tear someone a new one. You will be able to hear me from wherever you are on the planet because I will not be blackmailed. And my son will NOT be punished just so these egomaniacal coaches don�t have to look bad in front of the parents that they are extorting the big money from.

If you hear a scream in the night, it is me, grabbing one of those sons a bitches by the balls and squeezing.

Don�t fuck with the mother.