And another thing...

Today is the first official day of my vacation!

The first vacation I have ever had. Well there was those three days about 2 years ago that I took off to go camping with my sister....but my boss called on the second day (What man invented cell phones? Tell me so I can hunt him down and castrate him.) and I ended up going in. But this is the first honest-to-God vacation. All the appropriate authorities have been duly notified.

8:55am - Phone rings.....is that possible? Didn't I tell everyone every single day last week that I was on vacation, when it would start and what I had planned? I am sure I told every living thing I came in contact with that I was going to stay up all night playing cards on the internet and sleep all day. For 7 straight days I was not intending to get out of my PJ's. I even told my son that unless he was bleeding or on fire there was nothing I could or would do for him. (Please....no sympathy emails for my son...he is perfectly capable of nuking a hotdog.)

The phone is still ringing....did I miss someone? Did I forget to tell one of my friends? No, I called both of them. Is someone dead? Someone better be dead.

"Hello?" (It's my boss? He is obviously not dead.)

It can't be my boss.....he, above all, knows without a doubt, unaquivically that I am on Vacation. We discussed it. I know we discussed it. Did we discuss it? Yes....I am possitive we discussed it....at length.

- I made flow charts.
- I put extra icons on the desktop for him to find stuff easier.
- I made flow charts.
- I organized his My Documents.
- I made flow charts.
- I renamed those files to things like "if you need to print work orders use this file.pub"
- Did I mention I made flow charts?

"Hello???"

"Ya, I'm up" (He better be, at the very least, bleeding or on fire!)

"I can't get my laptop to print anything." (SHIT! I was rooting for the fire.)

"What are you trying to print?"

"Heat Loss" (Great...a dos program. Don't ask. It's one of the few programs he knows how to run.Probably because he has been using it since the turn of the Century and I don't mean the 21st.)

I won't bore you with the comedy of errors that went on for half an hour and through 3 phone calls. I can hear the error message alert sounds in the background, I see where this is going.

"Just bring the laptop to me and I will print it here." (Had he called at a decent hour, when I was thinking straight, I would have reached this conclusion earlier.)

It is now 11:30 am I won't be able to get back to sleep now....my son is awake.

Please don't let this be an indication of how the rest of my vacation will go.