Sunday, September 15, 2002

What the hell was I thinking?

Today my son�s baseball team had their end of the season party. Someone had the bright idea of having the parents play the kids. You know, for fun. Sadly, no one informed me of this turn of events until I arrive. To make matters worse, the field had been rained on the night before and was basically a mud hole.

I am completely unprepared in my old sneakers, the ones that have the sole ready to fall off, but I just can�t part with them. Oh well, I figure I will never hit the ball, so I don�t really have to worry about running in them, right? Wrong, I forgot about balls, I was walked the first time I was up at bat.

Ok, now the kids are razzing me. You know how 11 year olds can talk trash, �Don�t worry, we�ll get her trying to run to second."

So next up is one of the fathers. First pitch is high and outside, the catcher misses it. All hell breaks loose when they realize I am actually going to steal second. The look on their faces was priceless.

Now I am on second, and the batter hits the ball just past the infield. I run to third and see that the ball is now infield. I stop. But do you think the fool behind me stops? I look back and he is half way to third and I am screaming �STOP�. He doesn�t stop, now I have to run home, half way there, the catcher gets the ball. I pivot and head back for third. The kids are going wild, �Run her down!�

I am almost back at third, I�m going to make it! That�s when my choice of footwear proves to be my undoing.

Two steps from third, the sole of my sneaker shifts in the mud. I can feel my leg going out from under me and I take a nose dive right into third base. Had I not built up so much momentum running, I may have been safe, but instead I ended up going ass over tea kettle right past the plate. I think I even took out the third baseman.

As I lay there, bruised and battered, covered in mud, I reflected on my decision to pick up that bat after 20 years. The only thought that went through my head:

�What the HELL were you thinking?�

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