And another thing...

Amber

2011-12-07T04:41:00.004-04:00

On Thanksgiving weekend, The Boy's girlfriend, Amber, walked out of the local bar, crossed the street and was never seen alive again. She was 19.

For a month we searched in hope only to have that hope crushed when her body was finally found.

On the day of her funeral, I woke up in a rage. I still feel that rage.

To this day, we don't know how or even when she died. The Boy...is broken.

There has not been an arrest.

This is all I can write at the moment. There are so many emotions but the rage overpowers. Not just for the unknown person that has done this to Amber, but for the spineless accusers and obsessive facebook trolls that invade our grief.

Awesome Twitter Competition: 10 Mini Smoker HALO Kits to Be Won

2011-09-22T13:13:00.000-03:00

Awesome Twitter Competition: 10 Mini Smoker HALO Kits to Be Won

Having that kind of a day.

2011-09-11T02:57:00.001-03:00

The upside of owning crappy stuff.

2011-09-10T09:26:00.003-03:00

No one wants to steal it.

Took Milton out for his morning constitutional, and found my passenger side door wide open as well as the glove box.

The keys were on the seat where I left them.

Note to would-be thief: You could have at least tidied up. And where were you raised? In a barn? Close the fucking door!

Luckily the dome light has been busted for a while, otherwise the battery would be dead.

Everyone is always so proud to show off a new car or a new phone or new whatever. I have a little crappy car. It works, and nobody wants to steal it.

My name is Eva....and I am an addict.

2011-09-09T12:58:00.004-03:00

My drug of no choice? FaceCrack.
I want to say it is long hours of sharing meaningful shit with real friends and keeping up to date with how my family is doing. But like a crack whore....I would be lying.

When I am not farming or blazing the pioneer trails, I am keeping up with what is going on in the vaping community. God forbid a mod should come out and I not be aware of it til the next day.

Them's fightin' words.

Since I last posted here a lot has gone on. I am doing a vaping show (again) only on another network. I think I finally found a co-host that won't try and have me killed. She is a pretty good mix of knowledge and humour. And most importantly, a thick skin.

Please do come and check us out if you care at all about what I am doing? Or if you are interested in getting off the cigarettes. It has been over a year and a half since I accidently quit smoking using electronic cigarettes. (Click on the show logo and it will take you there.)

I have to tell you that when I am not snorting facecrack, I am lurking on GPTV. Before becoming a host, I got more free shit from watching vaping shows than anything else. Its fun and informative. And they don't care what comes out of my mouth.

No matter how politically incorrect it is. I think I will stick around a while.

I live in reality, I don't want to watch yours.

2011-07-09T12:11:00.003-03:00

I could totally live without the television, or the phone for that matter. I can get everything I need from an internet connection.

But, if I so much as hint that it would be cost effective to get rid of the cable tv, The Sister looks at me like I just snapped the neck of a bunny or something.

I don't get it....its 150 channels of nothing'ness. Unless you are into sports or reality shows there are maybe a dozen shows on tv that are watchable.

The Sister, however, watches all of it. All reality shows, all the time. Every 'housewife' show (although not many of them are actually married, go figure). And she would never pass up a chance to watch someone compete for something, not sporting events but close to it, I guess. Iron Chef, Top Chef, So you think you can dance, hairdressers, designers, models... the list goes on ad nauseum. Did I forget to say yes to the dress? FFS

Just a little fiction, that is all I am asking for. I just don't get the appeal? I live in reality, I sure as fuck don't want to watch yours.

Happy Canada Day!

2011-07-01T01:00:00.000-03:00

Are you getting tired of hearing it?

2011-05-21T14:13:00.000-03:00

I just realized how many posts start 'I haven't been blogging in a while' and I feel ya...its starting to annoy me too.

So, how goes it in butt-fuck-nowhere Nova Scotia? It goes better now that I have my car back from The Boy. His piece-of-shit Focus has been out of commission for more than a year and it is finally drivable.

I know that we should have given up on that thing a long time ago but after you spend so much money...well you have to know when to quit, but we didn't. After a couple of grand, I wanted it fixed just on principle so I could 'drive' it off a fucking cliff.
It was just one thing after another and in retrospect, we could have saved money if we had just replaced the motor. Oh well...what's done is done.

I am mobile now, even though I really don't go anywhere and now that I am not smoking I actually have money to spend. A couple of times I actually forgot it was payday. You don't realize how much money you spend on cancer sticks til you quit. I actually have money left over at the end of the month instead of the other way around.

If you are thinking at all about quitting smoking, think about it. Or email me...I will hook ya up.

Slacker? Not by half.

2011-05-18T13:40:00.001-03:00

Haven't been doing a lot of blogging lately. Well not here anyway. One of the reasons is the vaping thing...I couldn't just vape. Oh no. I had to create a blog for vaping, a youtube channel, two facebook pages and, of course, get my mug on camera and do an interactive web show on vaping.

The other reason is this f'ing laptop. I hate typing on it...I have man hands and long fingernails, I am doomed.

I was planning on keeping the two blogs separate...but vaping is what I do now and after a year, it is defining me. I never realized how much smoking defined me until I accidentally quit smoking when I picked up the electronic cigarette. I could never do anything without thinking about, can I smoke there or where is the smoking area and how long would it take me to get out to the smoking area. And on and on.

Now I don't care....I vape everywhere. I am starting to calm down a little now about it. But when I first found these things, I was in evangelical mode. I wanted to convert the masses. I even sold the kits for a while. Now, as I said, I am starting to calm down and get on with the day to day.

FFS…It’s just me. 15/05/2011

2011-05-16T13:33:00.000-03:00

Finally had a show with minimal technical difficulties.

Watch it HERE

If ya are one...It's your day.

2011-05-08T16:19:00.002-03:00

What I like about Mother's Day is that, for me, its not a big deal. The Boy lets me know every day that he loves me and appreciates everything I have done for him. I am so proud of him sometimes that I could bust.

Kevin is circling the drain

2011-05-08T16:17:00.001-03:00

I named the fish Kevin....because he drinks. (inside joke)

I call bullshit!

2011-04-28T08:52:00.001-03:00

Motion sense technology in Degree deodorant.

Seriously? Do people fall for this shit?

"Well, the cartoon clearly shows...."

Stick a fork in me.

2011-04-27T11:50:00.003-03:00

Have you heard? Prince William is getting married.

I don't know about you, but I could give a sweet fuck. However, apparently because I am Canadian, the press seems to think I am consumed with a passion to know every single detail of the upcoming nuptials.

I can't get away from it. Wonder what dress she is going to wear, what hat, what shoes. What will she eat for breakfast that morning. It has been going on all month and you can tell now that they are running out of things to speculate about.

I fully expect to turn on the TV today to an investigative report on the possible insects that could irritate the future princess.

Re-fuckin-tarded.

In case ya missed it...

2011-04-25T12:30:00.003-03:00

Our first show last night.

PART ONE

PART TWO

We had some technical difficulties and the manycam was not working so Buffy didn't make the recording, only audio, but it turned out all right I guess.

I was entertained and that is the main thing...after all, it IS all about me. LOL

Plan....what letter was I on?

2011-04-23T11:33:00.006-03:00

So, last post I told you about the show I was doing on ElixirTV...I am still doing that, but with another co-host. Cindy was nice, but too nice. I think I need someone with a thicker skin. When she was having fun, I wasn't and vice-versa. So, we parted ways and now I am going to do a new show (same time) with Buffy. She is a fellow Canuck and I met her through her boyfriend who I work with. So, she knew better what she was getting into, not like Cindy.

The new show is "It's EvelHawt...eh?" (her nick is HawtAngel) should be fun.

I did sorta feel bad for Cindy, she really had no idea what she was getting into, but then again some might say she was just not paying attention. Had she visited this blog at any point she may have deduced that I was not the warm and fuzzy type. I pretty much say whatever the fuck comes into my head at any given time. I stew over nothing. My philosophy is...If you piss me off and I say nothing...then that is totally on me. However, when (not if)I tell you that you are pissing me off and continue, then we really have a problem. So, if at any point in time you are unsure if I am pissed off at you? Don't be. (well...unless you are The Sister..but that's another story)

Anyway, today I am finally outside in our new gazebo, enjoying the first really nice day of spring. Long story short...I was sure God hated me. I bought this nice gazebo so I could sit outside without the bugs. (I am NOT a bug person) Seemed like as soon as we got the stupid thing off the truck it snowed. After about a week, we finally got it setup and since then it has snowed twice more and when it was not snowing, it was raining.....sideways.

I may have slept though half of this beautiful day had it not been for my brother showing up at an ungodly hour this morning...but since it is such a beautiful day, he can live.

Okay....Plan B

2011-04-15T14:32:00.002-03:00

So...my plan was to update (chronologically) what happened while I was not blogging over the last year.

That is not working out.

On to Plan B. I guess I will just go back to blogging as the spirit moves me and you will just have to deal with flashbacks and forwards.

Newest thing happening with me? A few months ago I started doing a vaping show with another girl called The Evel as Cin show on ElixirTV. (the other girls name is Cindy...get it?) Anyway, ever since I started vaping over a year ago, I have been all about the vaping. Found this webcast channel sponsored by a vaping vendor (great place to gather info, face to face as it were) and eventually we got our own show.

Check us out on Sunday nights 10pm EST. ElixirTV has shows 7 nights a week (and a lot of daytime activity as well) so there is always someone there to answer any questions you might have about electronic cigarettes and vaping in general. Not to mention all the free stuff they give away. Kits and juice and mods.

I heard something the other day that stuck with me...it was an article in a newspaper about vaping. The woman said she accidently quit smoking with an electronic cigarette.

I get that! I totally accidently quit smoking. I remember when the doctor put that non-smoker sticker on my medical file, I was totally shocked.

So, if you are a smoker, you should try it. You could accidently quit smoking too.

2011-02-23T19:55:00.001-04:00

Today is my vape'aversary!

2011-02-23T09:44:00.002-04:00

I am one year a non-smoker!

THE BOY IS 20 TODAY!

2011-02-03T01:39:00.004-04:00

He is the best thing that ever happened to me. I am so proud of him I could bust. My only regret is his sperm donor.

Happy Birthday!

Where to begin?

2011-01-19T14:48:00.004-04:00

How did I end up here? Living in butt-fuck-nowhere in a trailer with my sister?

Many planets aligned to make this happen. I was living alone, happily (despite my rednecked neighbors)in a two bedroom apartment in our little town. My sister was living not so happily alone in a trailer in butt-fuck-nowhere and working away on a ridiculously well paying job in another province. The Boy was living with his father and enjoying making his father and step monster miserable with his mere presence in their home.

All was right with the world.

The Boy is still living with his father and experiencing the joy of living there only because it makes them miserable. Not really a tough job since everything seems to make TBF and the step monster miserable. They have refined it to an art. However, The Sister and I became another story.

First The Sister's job came to an end and her unemployment insurance was soon to follow. She asked me a couple of times if I would consider moving in with her. She owned her own home, so there would be no rent and two incomes would be better than one. Sounded good, but I was enjoying living alone for the first time in forever. I had already converted (somewhat) the boys room into an exercise room. I had my home the way I liked it I was livin' (in my opinion) the dream.

The second set of rednecks (brother of the first) that lived below me were preparing to move and I was told by the landlord that(for the new tenant) he would be fishing from a different gene pool. That being said, I was very surprised to find the younger brother of the previous two tenants moving in one day. Give me strength!

Let me give you just a brief rundown of the first two. Sister redneck was the first. She and her 'husband' had triplets and stole the bed I had in stored in the barn and used it for two years. I thought someone stole it from the barn but when they moved out, thankfully, they left it behind.

The next to move in was the brother. He had two children and as many derelict cars in the driveway. None of his friends could grasp the concept of not blocking me in the three car wide driveway. No matter when they arrived, day or night when given the option of who to park behind, it was always me. Fuckin' maddening. Also when given the option of where on the property to set up their fireworks display they inveritably chose six inches from the front bumper of my car. (no matter where it was parked)

This is just a drop in the bucket as to what I had to deal with. I could go on but I won't. So you may understand why my heart sank when I saw the third installment moving in. But hey, I thought, this may not be as bad as I think.

Wrong. This is turning into a long drawn out post but it has to be said. First problem...they had a dog. A puppy, really. Keep in mind that I work from home. As far as I could tell, neither of the two people that moved in seemed to have a job so I wasn't concerned about the dog to start with. However, the first time they left it at home alone, he lost his mind.

I mention that this is unacceptable and that he can't leave the dog inside alone because I work from home and can't work with the dog howling. His solution? Leave him outside...alone. Guess what? He still howled. So I head down to leave a note on his door that his solution does not work when the little shit comes in the drive. "Dude, you can't leave the dog tied up."

He tries to ignore me. "You said I can't keep him inside so I put him out." and starts to get back in the car.

"In or out, he howls."

"Well I can't take him with me everywhere."

"Then I guess you can't have a dog then."

"Yes I can."

"Actually, no you can't. You can't have a dog in city limits if it disturbs the fucking peace and it is disturbing my fucking peace."

"Whatever." and he gets into the car and drives away.

THAT IS FUCKIN' IT! This was not a one day thing, and I had experience with this particular gene pool before so I knew how this was not going to be an easy road.

I called my sister, "You still want to live together?"

"Are you sure?"

"Question is, are you sure. I know I can deal with you, but you need to be sure you can deal with me."

"I can deal, but I don't think you mean it."

"As soon as we hang up, I am ordering a dumpster."

And that was it. Decision made, I phoned the landlord and gave notice.

We seem to be back...for now.

2011-01-18T22:16:00.005-04:00

So, its been a while since I have blogged and a lot has gone on.

The main reason that I haven't been posting is because in August of last year I moved in with The Sister. As you can imagine since i work from home, and The Sister is not currently working, we are together pretty much 24/7.

Herein lies the dilemma. Poking fun at The Sister's insanity is fine when it happens, perhaps once or twice a year but now that we live together, I have to think before I blog.

Previous to us 'shacking up together', I would see her perhaps once a month and she didn't always say or do anything that would merit ridicule. When she did do something that struck me as funny and blog worthy I would not hesitate to blog it. She would then either be amused or slightly less than amused but she would eventually get over it.

During our first months together, I decided that it was not worth the grief or drama to poke fun at her obvious dementia for the amusement of (quite possibly) five or six readers that I have never met. And of course I didn't have to sit across from her at the dinner table every night while she was 'getting over it'.

Okay, so five or six might be stretching it, but you get the idea. Any whoo...today as we were driving home I said something that cracked her up and she said to me. "You should write that on your blog."

After I explained the reason I was not blogging, she gave me her blessing.(I know...I told you she was insane.)

So, from this day forward I will not sensor myself as far as the blog goes. She has promised not to get her panties in a bunch and because of the aforementioned dementia I figure she will forget it as soon as she reads it anyway. You don't know what I am talking about but in the weeks to come...all will be revealed.

Stay tuned!

7 Months Today!

2010-09-23T16:57:00.001-03:00

Road Trip

2010-06-10T21:46:00.005-03:00

Three old girls on a road trip to Anitgonish. Shopping.

We made it to two (count 'em) two whole stores, with a lunch break in between.

Ya gotta love a Dollarama.

Planning a family? You need to track your ovulation.

Now to see if the rabbit died or not.

Nothing says I love you like a fancy sit down dinner with some Dollar Store escargo.

I feel so ... trailer trash.

Un fuckin' believable.

2010-06-03T03:56:00.003-03:00

Are people really this retarded?

This asshole is selling Miracle Spring Water and Debt Cancellation Kit.

God wants you to be debt free!

How stupid do you have to be?

It's Official

2010-05-19T23:40:00.004-03:00

Went to see two of my doctors today. My regular GP and the heart specialist.

Kinda pissed I even have to bother with the HS, since I could’nt even get in to see him til long after my heart issues we not issues.

I was (covertly at first) vaping in the GP’s waiting room. When no-one said anything, I got bolder and took a long hard haul on it. Finally one of the old girls gave me the stink-eye. Once I told her it was not a cigarette, she was all a hundred questions. I gave her my card so her husband could call me. She though that since he is a 50 year smoker it probably wouldn’t work for him. That was until I told her I had been a smoker for 35 years.

(Any Whoo)

I wish I had had my camera ready for when I took the first drag to show my doctors how it worked. When I let out that huge plume of smoke…it was priceless.

My GP (who knows me best) was really behind me on this. She thinks its great, and my blood pressure was 120/87. That is as close to perfect as I have ever been in my life. I got a round of applause from her. “Just looking at you, I can tell you feel better. Cuz you look better.”

The HP is totally taking credit for me quitting smoking, “So would you say it is because of our discussion that you quit?”

What? Does he get a kickback or something? I say (with sarcasm), “Oh ya, it was all you dude.” …wait three beats…“Oh, and this.” And I whip out the e-cig. LOL, men.

Both my doctors were impressed, although the HP is a nazi and questioned me on when I was going to stop vaping as well. Fuck off, one vise at a time please. Lets get the fat chick dealt with before you have me running track.

So I am getting up to leave the HP and he is routing around in his desk and comes up with a sticker and puts it on my file. “What is that?”

“Oh, it just identifies you as a non-smoker.”

“Wow…I haven’t been that since I was eleven. “ LOL so he gave me one for my e-cig case.

So, now I want to see you VIP’ing. Send me a pic.

I have seriously done it now.

2010-05-09T17:05:00.003-03:00

I woke up this morning and started the shower,did my 'business' and jumped in. (I know, TMI, but it is relevant to the story)

I get out of the shower, dry off and flush the toilet. (see? makes sense) As the toilet is flushing I reach above it to get the deodorant off the shelf and promptly drop it. Into the flushing toilet.

HOLY SHIT! There was literally no time to try and grab it before it went down with the rest of the water. FUCK!

Okay, so now I have flushed it. But have I? Did it go down? I flush again...asked and answered. It must be stuck in the trap, the water is rising dangerously close to the top of the bowl. How the fuck can I stop the water now? I tear the top of the tank off and grab the float.

Water stopped...for now, but I clearly can't stand here all day. I am trying to figure out what to do next when I see the water slowly receding. Thank God for small blessings. I have to reach behind the tank and shut the water off.

I couldn't deal with it then and there because I had to take off and go visit my mother. (It is mothers' day after all)So I call my landlord from the road. He will go have a look

Good news bad news. Good news, he is going to replace the toilet, it was old and a water hog anyway. Bad news, it won't be til tomorrow.

To top it all off, I seem to have forgotten to get my Depo-Provera shot. And what reminded me, you might ask? Aunt Flo came to call.

So there it is. I just can't win. Happy Mother's Day to me. (BTW, it is 5:22pm now and I have not even heard from The Boy)

2010-05-08T02:31:00.002-03:00

When do I start actually saving money?

2010-05-04T21:44:00.001-03:00

55 Days and not counting.

2010-04-19T01:44:00.006-03:00

I have been vaping now for 55 days and I have to say I am loving it.

I have not picked up a cigarette since, nor do I want to. There is no withdrawal because I am still getting the one thing that was addicting me to tobacco in the first place and that is nicotine.

I am loving my 510 and have since bought more batteries so I have it in 4 colors now.

I have even gone off the tobacco flavors and now vape pretty much only coffee and Dr. Pepper. I loved that one so much that I squeezed the life out of the bottle to get the last drop. More is on the way thank god.

Now I am thinking ahead. With all the talk about e-juice having issues at customs, I figured I would stalk up. You just know the tobacco lobby is going to be all over this shit once it catches on. After all, this could potentially cripple the industry if everyone who currently smokes switches to e-cigs. And since the tobacco tax is justified by claims that the proceeds go to cover the costs of illnesses attributed to tobacco smoke use, well....the government will be hard pressed to get the same amount of tax applied to e-cigs if and when they start to regulate them.

So, I have begun my stockpile with some DIY stuff. High concentrate nicotine, glycerin and flavorings, so I can make my own. Right now....I would say I have enough supplies either in my possession or on order to last me a couple years.

It's a sickness. I have got to stop ordering.

I don't know why I am worrying. After all, if a 10 year old can get crack at school, I should be able to get a supply of nicotine juice just as easily.

Here's hoping.

Chief of Staff UCLA Santa Monica, on electronic cigarettes.

2010-04-15T13:40:00.003-03:00

Dr. David Baron

The Electronic Cigarette Association

2010-04-14T14:49:00.002-03:00

Matthew Salmon, former Republican Congressional Representative from Arizona responds to the FDA's late release of it's studies on Electronic Cigarettes.

Nails it!

2010-04-09T11:20:00.001-03:00

Kits arrived in spite of it all.

2010-04-06T12:18:00.005-03:00

I get a call at 8:20am this morning, it's the post office. I am expecting two packages, sent two days apart.

They have a package, probably the first one that was sent, "You expecting something from Taiwan or Japan or somewhere?" These are the people entrusted with getting shit to you and he can't determine what country it came from.

"China?"

"Yeah, that's it. I just need your address, cuz all this says is New Glasgow, NS."

Okay, so they got the general vicinity and they figure, oh yeah, someone in Nova Scotia will know this chick.

"Why not just keep it there, and I will pick it up." No sense confusing them further.

I go to get the package and it is actually the second one, the one with the kits in it. I was worried about that one because it was the one that cost me so much. I heave a sigh of relief. I ask if there is another and they said no, check back tomorrow.

Weird that the one they sent two days before got here, but not the first one.

Anyway, I get home and no sooner am I through the door but there is a knock. Its the mailman, with the other package. This is the same man that has never attempted to bring a package to me before, he usually assumes I won't be there and only brings a hanger. I know this because I have actually caught him leaving a hanger that says 'an attempt was made to deliver the package but you were not home, pick it up at the post office.'

After he passed me one a few weeks ago, I went to the post office and asked her that if he hands me this hanger, how does that constitute him 'attempting' anything? Since then, I have seen him hauling packages up and down the street and now he doesn't speak when I say good morning.

But I get my packages on the first try now.

Its just rude!

2010-04-02T22:11:00.003-03:00

I go into a slow burn every time I see someone in a store walking around talking on their cell phone.

If you find you are unsure of what you are picking up for someone and you huredly ring them to get clarification, that's one thing. But having a conversation about some daft thing your boyfriend did the night before while you browse the isles is just fucking rude!!!!

Carry on that conversation as you stand in front of me in line for the cashier, I can barely contain my contempt.

Then you give me the stink eye when you realize I can hear you, like I want to eavesdrop on your innane conversation with your friend.

The cashier is trying to ring through your purchases and you can't give her your attention for ten fucking seconds?

I just want to punch you in the throat!!!!

And I just might.

Another funny site.

2010-04-02T02:20:00.002-03:00

This guy is very funny.

I am completely and utterly addicted to Karl Pilkington.

2010-04-01T01:02:00.004-03:00

Turns out that before the HBO show Ricky Gervais and his two little sidekicks had a radio show. So there are thousands of hours of audio on YouTube. I spent the better part of my shift listening.

At one point I was laughing so loud that I had to hang up on some poor slob who called in just as I was snorting milk out of my nose.

Wasted life.

2010-03-28T00:29:00.004-03:00

Just got finished watching The Tooth Fairy.

I have to say that the best part of it (and the only thing stopping me from calling this post - 2 hours I will never get back) was Stephen Merchant.

He was hilarious.

I am now officially old.

2010-03-24T11:16:00.003-03:00

Bought some ice cream the other day and when I opened it it looked like this.

First thing that went through my head was "That's fine, I will just scoop off that protective coating."

Once that thought processed, I was doubled over in a fit of laughter.

Holy shit...I am officially an old lady.

My e-cig

2010-03-21T17:03:00.002-03:00

So far, so good.

2010-03-13T20:57:00.008-04:00

I have been rocking the e-cig for 19 days now. I have to tell you, I am lovin' it. Being a gadget junkie, I was predestined to try it and I am glad I did.

I guess you just have to try it for yourself, but it is just like smoking. It feels like smoking, it looks like smoking, you get that hit in the back of your throat like smoking only you get just the nicotine and not all the other crap chemicals that you get from tobacco smoking.

I find that I can breathe better and I am even cooking, cuz shit just tastes better. You heard me, I am cooking....food, meals, like meat and potatoes and (what are those green things again?) vegetables. I kid you not.

I have not had a 'real' cigarette since I picked up this one. After (I would say) about 6 days this thing has paid for itself. Considering the 'juice' you use for it costs about $11 a bottle and it looks like one bottle will last me the better part of a month. So I am going from $300 per month (easy) with tobacco, to $11 a month vaping.

Now I want to clear this up. This is not, I repeat, NOT for quitting smoking. You are still getting nicotine, which is the only reason you can't quit tobacco. The nicotine is what you are addicted to. Granted, you could keep lowering your dose of nicotine until you eventually do quit, but if you really wanted to quit you could do that with just about any smoking succession aid.

I know why all those other things did not work for me. It is simply because I do not 'want' to quit smoking. I like to smoke, I enjoy it. This way I can still smoke, I just won't die from it. I don't see the down side.

I will say that I am pumping a lot of money into this thing initially. Only because being a gadget junkie, I need to get every possible accessory for this thing. Like one in silver and a cute little case to carry it around in. This also has led me to the realization that the mAh (or milliampere-hour) of the battery is the thing to pay attention to when choosing an e-cig.

The Joye 510 (the e-cig I have now, pictured above) comes with a 180mAh Rechargeable battery (two in the kit). When you first get the kit you realize it is going to be a bit different than drawing on a cigarette. Long slow draws are the way to go to get a good hit and lots of vapor. Long draws heat up the atomizer more. The warmer the atomizer the better the vapor. It takes some getting used to.

It was very impressive until I purchased my first accessory, the USB pass through battery. I didn't want to have to worry about the battery dying while I was working, and with this I just plug it into the laptop.

Now, the pass through has a 360mAh Rechargeable battery inside. The first time I tried it it just about cut the throat out of me. You just can't draw on it the same way as you would the 180mAh. You learn this very quickly. As the battery gets weaker (once you realize it is too much and unplug the thing) it becomes more of a normal cigarette smoking draw.

With that in mind, my next order will include the mega battery, its about in the middle of the road and wireless. It is a 280mAh Rechargeable, a little longer than the standard. Once I have this I think I will have the perfect setup and I can rest the credit card for a while.

As far as the juices go? I started with a Marlboro blend and if you are familiar at all with American cigarettes it was very potent. I have since ordered and received some flu curred and Camel flavored juice. I prefer the Camel (It is much smoother) but the flu curred is very nice as well. I have also ordered some flavored juices. Watermelon, apple and mint. So I should have enough juice to last me at least 6 months.

Bottom line, it might not be completely healthy to vape (considering you still get the nicotine) but I don't have to be a doctor to know that it has got to be better for you than tobacco smoking.

I Heart Karl Pilkington!

2010-03-13T11:37:00.003-04:00

If you haven't seen The Ricky Gervais Show, you must download it. It is hilarious and it is mainly because of Karl.

Everyone should have a Karl in their lives. If only for the Monkey News.

Funny.

2010-03-10T19:14:00.002-04:00

Save your sanity, learn how to hide and ignore. Drag your ass into the 21st century and learn this skill.

Now there's a shocker.

2010-03-10T11:44:00.003-04:00

{insert sarcasm}

Corey Haim dead at 38

If anyone watched The 2 Corey's, they saw this coming.

Just surprising it took so long.

I like strangling budgies.

2010-03-07T22:08:00.007-04:00

I have been looking for this thing forever.

Funny as hell. The 80's were so much fun.

Have to add the God Sketch.

File it under, You Can't Make This Shit Up.

2010-03-07T19:44:00.004-04:00

Was at the Dollar Store today and came across this.

First impression was, "Naw...it can't be." Then I picked it up and it felt like what I was thinking it was.

What do you think it is? Maybe the nutritional information will help.

I figured it just couldn't be what I thought it was so I asked the clerk.

I thought it was hilarious that the Dollar Store sold pregnancy tests, but unblessed hosts? Is this where Father Bernie buys these things? I guess someone has to make them, but the Dollar Store. Seems a little sacrilegious.

WTF, John?

2010-03-05T14:38:00.003-04:00

I am fast forwarding through most of American Idol. I don't pay much attention to it after the most entertaining part of the whole thing, that being the auditions. However, I did stop for a minute to see what John Park had to say.

"What people may not know about me is that English is my second language. When I was 6 I moved to Korea."

Okay, I am not a mathematical genius nor do I pretend to know everything about educational systems in every country but aren't you in school by the time you are 6 years old? What? You didn't speak? That must have been fuckin' irritating for the teachers.

"...moved back to Chicago in 4th grade..." So three, maybe four years in Korea. Dude, I am surprised you can still speak some Korean.

If that is the most interesting thing you could come up with? That's pitiful.

I need to get a life.

2010-03-04T19:00:00.004-04:00

This is what is exciting me at the moment.

My e-cig accessories making their way here from China.

I know, its sad.

2010-03-03T16:27:00.000-04:00

█ ♥ █ HE SHOOTS...HE SCORES!!! █ ♥ █

2010-02-28T17:49:00.009-04:00

Canada owns hockey! Sid the Kid brings it home in sudden death overtime. Very exciting.

Both men and women walk away with the gold medals in hockey.

Icidently, Canada has won 14 gold medals, the most by any country at any Winter Games.

Olympic Commercials

2010-02-28T16:56:00.003-04:00

They had some pretty cute commercials for the Olympics.

█ ♥ █ HE SHOOTS...HE SCORES!!! █ ♥ █ Michael J. Fox

There is one Chevy commercial that was so cute. Unfortunately, they disabled the embed, so you will have to click here to see it.

It features two cars having a conversation and every time they are interupted by someone walking between them one of the cars yells, "Human!" hehehe...cute.

Um...but you lost...???

2010-02-27T18:53:00.007-04:00

The US is all fired up over winning the most medals so far and it seems like the media is eating the same idiot cookies.

Okay...you won the most medals but you have not won the most gold medals and isn't that what it is all about?

I mean silver is cool...but you still lost the race.

"YEAH! We got 36 medals! WOO HOO!"

Okay, Retard. But in 27 of those events you actually ... lost.

I am not a sports person but I thought close only counts in horseshoes. When did they add that one to the olympics?

Here's your sign!

2010-02-26T14:17:00.004-04:00

Picked up Bunnie at the doctor's today. Showed her my new e-cigarette and asked her if she wanted to try it.

"NO! I heard you can get nicotine poisoning from those things."

Then she promptly lit a cigarette.

Dude!

2010-02-25T05:23:00.002-04:00

It's called a 'Killer' Whale.

SeaWorld killer whale attacks trainer: latest in string of deaths

And now you are surprised? I was always taught 'not' to poke the bear.

IT'S HERE!

2010-02-23T13:53:00.003-04:00

My e-cig arrived today! The Joye 510.

I am already chomping at the bit to get accessories for this thing.

Right out of the chute, this thing was awesome. Not only does it look like a cigarette, but you get the hit in the back of your throat like a real cigarette and you can even blow smoke rings with this thing. You would swear you were really smoking.

When I took the first drag on this thing I was anticipating ... I don't know what I was anticipating but I took a really long drag....it's kind of deceptive because there is no heat in your mouth like you would get with a real cigarette that tells you to stop drawing on it.

Well, like I said, I took a long draw........and nearly choked to death. LOL After the choking fit I was a little light headed. Seriously. If I had taken that long of a draw on a real cigarette I would have choked too.

With that lesson learned early, I took a normal draw on it and it wass awesome. I don't see myself ever smoking a real cigarette again. It has been three hours now and I am not in any kind of withdrawal. I am getting the nicotine my body craves without all the other crap. Unlike those nicotine inhalers this gives me all the other crap that I like about cigarettes...the actual smoking part. (Does that make sense?)It tastes like tobacco, hits the back of your throat like tobacco and you can even blow smoke rings if you like. All without any actual smoke.

I think the reason that patches, gum and pills didn't work for me is because I don't actually want to quit smoking. What I want is to smoke and not die.

Hey....I am now formaldehyde and arsenic free! (among 3000 other chemicals)

This is starting to get on my last nerve.

2010-02-22T01:58:00.003-04:00

I ordered the e-ciagarette and was given a tracking number.

Label/Receipt Number: #########
Class: First-Class Mail International
Service(s): International Letter
Status: Electronic Shipping Info Received

The U.S. Postal Service was electronically notified by the shipper on February 12, 2010 to expect your package for mailing. This does not indicate receipt by the USPS or the actual mailing date. Delivery status information will be provided if / when available. Information, if available, is updated periodically throughout the day. Please check again later.

The website and my invoice says 6-10 days. And here it is 10 days later and this is all I get. I emailed them so they could confirm that it actually left the building and then they tell me it could take 3 weeks. (not what I was told when I ordered it)

This shit is coming from Florida. In three weeks I could walk there and back.

Anyone need me to pick anything up for them on my way?

Join a fuckin' commune, Hippy.

2010-02-21T18:40:00.004-04:00

I don't care if it is 'the most natural thing in the world'.

I don't wanna watch you haul your tit out in a restaurant and feed your kid. I have to pay for my meal...so should junior. It's a fuckin' restaurant, not a picnic park.

For the love of God....you can pump one bottle...it won't kill ya.

And isn't it always a kid old enough to work the fuckin' vending machine who walks up to 'Mom' so she can haul her tit out to give him a drink. You are not being natural...you are being cheap. Buy the kid a soda for fuck sake.

I know what you are going to say. Breast feeding has been around forever and is natural. Well we used to squat in the fields and give birth too.

Can we just retire the tie-dye t-shirts and drag ass into the 21st century please?

2010-02-20T00:53:00.001-04:00

Gonna miss these videos.

Haven't really seen a good one since Bill left the building.

My personal favorite.

Give me a break!

2010-02-19T12:25:00.002-04:00

I don't care how many documentaries you star in.

You are still just a nutt-bar!

(As I was watching this video I was thinking...what makes you think the Eiffel Tower wants to marry you?)

Snow Day!

2010-02-17T07:42:00.005-04:00

No matter the weather, I always have a fan in the window. Probably not the best idea last night. Woke up to this.

Car is not going anywhere.

Hell, if you have snow...you have to make a snowman...its the law.

On its way.

2010-02-13T22:02:00.004-04:00

My Joye 510 electronic cigarette should be here in 6-10 days.

The previous one I purchased was out of stock...took them a while to figure that one out and refund me but I am glad it worked out.

Since I ordered the Gamucci, I have heard nothing but crap about them. So I am a little relieved I won't be getting that one. The lady that I dealt with was very apologetic and even said she sent me a free disposable one for my trouble. I will let you know how that one was but like I said, I am happy that I am now getting the Joye 510.

All the YouTube reviews for this electronic cigarette has been positive and the sight that sells them, Health Cabin, is also highly recomended by the reviewers and users of these e-cigs.

They have excellent prices, I was able to get two of the Joye 510 for the price of just one of the Gamucci's. I can't wait.

WTF?

2010-02-07T22:33:00.003-04:00

Recently, I started watching Nip/Tuck. Its a pretty good show but what the fuck is up with John Hensley? Is this truly what he looks like in real life?

He puts me in mind of Michael Jackson at the height of his plastic surgery frenzy.

There is just something....I don't know......'off' about how he looks.

I can't really find a picture that shows exactly what I mean, you just have to see him on the show....something is just off. Even his hair looks fake.

Intruder update.

2010-02-04T00:14:00.000-04:00

I am awoken from a dead sleep the other night. I can hear chewing. I don't know if any of you have ever had a gerbil or small rodent that chewed cardboard but that was exactly what it sounded like and it was really loud.

Great! So I follow the sound that just keeps getting louder and louder into the kitchen. It's the middle of the night and all I can think about is what the hell will I do with it when I find it?

I think I have located the culprit. I am convinced by the shear volume that it is coming from this bag. (another reason not to recycle)

Now I am forced to formulate a plan at 3 in the morning, not my sharpest time I can tell you that. Did I mention I am holding a knife? No? Oh, well I am not sure what I had planned to do with the knife but I am holding it. Then I think, wait, I am NOT stabbing anything. Way too messy.

The bag is not moving but from the sounds of it, the 'thing' is in the bag and it is chomping on cardboard. LIGHTBULB!

I grab the bag by the top (making mental note that I do not feel any weight to it) and make a b-line for the door and fire it outside. Relief. Short lived when I realize the reason I did not feel any weight to the bag. I can still hear the chomping. Back into the kitchen I go, same spot (sans bag) and I can still hear the chomping. Relief again, it is not IN the house but it is IN the house. Looks and sounds like whatever it is, it is inside the wall. This being the outside wall off the deck I plan to investigate...in the morning.

Of course for the next few days it is bitter cold and windy so I do not even venture out to get the mail. In the mean time I tell the landlord the story of the chomping. So today he shows up with a mouse trap. He hands it to me.

"What the hell is this for?"

"For inside."

"Uh, Dude, if I thought the thing was inside, so would you be. And you wouldn't be leaving without the body of said thing in your hand."

I had actually been investigating and I believe I know what is going on. I explain it to the landlord but I can show y'all with pictures.

First, there is the trail.

So you can see where it is coming up the stairs and where it is going when it gets there. And since it is not 40 below with the windchill I can get a closer look at where it is going.

Seems like the flashing has come off the eave, and BINGO!

A big-ass hole with what appears to be hair. I think we have found its front door. The landlord throws a block of poison inside and a little treat for outside.

I think that should take care of whatever it is. I really hope I see a dead body but I am okay with never knowing if that is to be the case. Dead is dead.

The Boy is Legal!

2010-02-03T00:01:00.003-04:00

The Boy turns 19 today.

Man, does that statement make a girl feel old. I just wish I could win the lottery so I could give him whatever he wants.

[Sigh] He will just have to be happy with a little gas money and an 'I Love You'.

And this...

Click here if you can't see the video.

Happy Birthday! Luv Ya!

UPDATE:

Taking The Boy to the Frog and Toad for a birthday dinner. And a beer. (I am soooo old)

Intruder!

2010-01-26T23:32:00.004-04:00

I guess I had company.

Just my opinion.

2010-01-24T18:48:00.003-04:00

I know this might sound cold and I am probably going straight to hell for suggesting it, but if you have 12 children, you need to take extra precautions with your well being. Take your vitamins, look both ways before you cross the street. Basic common sense shit.

Deadly Manitoba crash leaves 12 children orphans

And, Dude, stay the fuck home in a blizzard. Barring that, wear your seatbelts.

I am all over this!

2010-01-16T23:57:00.004-04:00

I have tried Champix twice now and I know this will sound lame because this is the second time but it really does work.

It takes the addiction completely from you. You do not want a smoke after you shove the first pill down your gob.

What it doesn't take away is the habit. I am fine when I am not working, I don't even think of having a cigarette. However, when I am working, I find that I will look over and there is a cigarette burning away in the ashtray that I don't remember lighting.

Recently I ran across an ad for an electronic cigarette.

The starter kit costs $74 US and comes with 5 cartridges and Each cartridge is equivalent to 12-15 traditional cigarettes. Then each 5 pack of cartridges are $10US. If it works, it will more than pay for itself.

I am soooo getting this thing. I need something to puff on and even though these things have nicotine, at least I will cut out the 4000 other chemicals.

What's in my wallet?

2010-01-14T19:33:00.006-04:00

Certainly not 1700 bucks, I can tell you that.

For years I have been doing my own tax returns, first by paper then in recent years I have been using Ufile. I loved it, very easy to do, all the calculations are done for you and it is a very reasonable filing fee if not free for some people.

But then you hear the hype how a professional preparer will get you more of what you are entitled to. Blah, Blah, Blah.

When you take your tax info to a professional tax preparer. What exactly do you expect? I expected that the return would be, at the very least, correct.

Last year I decided, foolishly as it turns out, to go with that big tax preparation outfit. H & R Block.(tag line (ironically) is Get it Right) I have to say, what hooked me was the guarantee. When it comes to taxes, you are always worried that mistakes can be made and you really don't want the government on your case. And I confess, I did not read the fine print. I thought the guarantee meant that if they fucked it up, it was on them not me.

Wrong. So wrong.

Long story short, what my 'professional tax preparer' recorded as a three should have been an eight and the return was off five grand.

One year later, the government checks the return and catches the error and sends me a letter. Now I am on the hook for $1700.

So, I call up H&R and get Bob. Bob apologizes and offers to cover my interest and penalties but not the $1700 mistake.

"Ah...what about the hundred and eighty three bucks I paid you to prepare this in-cor-rect return?" I split the syllables so 'Bob' understands my displeasure.

"Hmmm...I can probably get you a refund for that as well."

"Ya think?"

Don't get me wrong, I realize that I got $1700 last year that I was not entitled to but that was only because I trusted H&R Block to 'get it right'. Given the choice I would not have 'borrowed' (which is essentially what I did) $1700 from the government. In the same vein, I dont' have a credit card because I don't like to spend money I don't have. Now I have to deal with a new year and I am already $1700 in the hole.

The moral of this story is read the fine print. The H&R Block guarantee isn't really any better than what you would get from your paper boy. He fails to bring the paper, you get your money back.

2010-01-11T13:21:00.000-04:00

Hoping 2010 is better.

The movies in 2009 were a little disappointing

Looking forward to some movies in 2010

Up in the Air - Anything with Clooney. (Sigh)
Prince of Persia
Sorcerers Apprentice -
Spy Next Door - Jackie Chan makes me chuckle
Extrodinary measures - Anytihng with Harrison Ford....I am going to be screwed when all these old guys finally pack it in.
Ironman 2
Sherlock Holmes

Seriously?

2009-12-28T01:42:00.000-04:00

Is anyone really under the delusion that people on those phone chat lines look anything remotely like this?

Seriously?

It's the little things...

2009-12-26T01:31:00.004-04:00

This year I finally got rid of the cats and I have decided I am going to get a new pet. After researching it I have decided on a hedgehog. I guess I was never much of a cat or dog person....small rodents are more my speed.

Anyway, every year The Sister fills my Christmas stocking and from that stocking comes my favorite gift of the year.

What was your favorite gift this year?

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me.....

2009-12-25T01:10:00.001-04:00

Twelve drummers drumming.

There used to be 13 but one guy left to take up air guitar.

Hope your holiday was great no matter what you celebrate.

Merry Christmas.

Not for nothin', but...

2009-12-24T13:06:00.003-04:00

I really hate to be a bitch during the holidays but this this was too much.

Bunnie was over last night and brought The Sister and I coffee. Mine was to be a Triple Triple and her's, one cream

I have no idea what kind of fucked up hieroglyphics they were using but I really hope Bunnie did not tip.

Day Eleven...almost there.

2009-12-24T01:09:00.001-04:00

Eleven Pipers Piping.

Ok, technically, a hookah. But if you ask me that's just a glorified bong anyway.

On the tenth day of Christmas...

2009-12-23T01:08:00.001-04:00

Ten lords a-leaping.

Exhausted from the double duty (ie dancing lady gig) but always the consummate professional. The show must go on.

On the ninth day of Christmas...

2009-12-22T01:06:00.001-04:00

Nine ladies dancing.

Like troupers, the eight out-of-work milk maids recruited one of the leaping lords and became dancing ladies....the lord is in drag, but he rather enjoys it.

On the eighth day of Christmas...

2009-12-21T01:06:00.001-04:00

Times are tough and you can't find a milk maid to save your life. Most likely because of this.

These cows milk themselves. I kid you not. When they feel like they need to get milked, they just walk into the stall and the machine hooks up to them automatically. No human is involved.

The milkmaids are going to have to learn to type.

Day Seven

2009-12-20T01:05:00.001-04:00

And welcome to day seven. Over half way there.

Unfortunately, I had the swans since day one and, well, they drowned around day five.

Leave it to me to find the only swans that couldn't swim.

They are still good eatin'. Moist.

On the sixth day of Christmas...

2009-12-19T01:04:00.001-04:00

Six geezer's sleighing.

And one chick.

FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!

2009-12-18T01:03:00.001-04:00

Ok, so they are onion rings.

And who can eat just five?

On the fourth day of Christmas...

2009-12-17T01:02:00.001-04:00

And welcome to day four.

On the third day of Christmas...

2009-12-16T01:01:00.002-04:00

As it happens, I was only able to find one Frenchen. Not a real popular name.

However, it does say on Frank's myspace that he is a parent. So, we will assume he was married at some point, so that makes at least 3.

Enjoy day three.

On the second day of Christmas...

2009-12-15T07:59:00.002-04:00

Two turtles dove.

Ok, they aren't diving right this minute, but they were earlier.

I might have read that wrong.

Damned homonyms!

On the first day of Christmas...

2009-12-14T12:58:00.003-04:00

Ok, I realize that the 12 days of Christmas are supposed to start after Christmas day and continue until the Feast of the Epiphany (I am not a heathen) but this is my blog and I am going to use it as a countdown. ~~Excommunicate~~ Sue me. Besides, once Christmas day arrives, no one wants to hear another word about it.

So, here we go.

On the first day of Christmas...

My true love gave to me...

A Partridge in a pear tree.

Ok, so he is not exactly in a pear tree.

But he is being treed by a bear.

Close enough. Carry on.

Wing Night.

2009-12-13T20:29:00.005-04:00

Every year for Tracey's birthday, we do wing night. We watch Christmas movies, I make wings and decorate the tree.

I give you...

The Campbell family Christmas tree.

The Carnage.

Again this year the cashier questioned me about the crackers. Some people had a sheltered life, Christmas without Christmas crackers.

But we got 'er done and almost made it to midnight this year.

WTF?

2009-12-13T14:48:00.001-04:00

Some crayon on CNN actually said the words - Greener Oil

Seriously?

Are you kidding me?

2009-12-10T00:02:00.005-04:00

What the hell is up with Barbara Walters? Adam Lambert? One of the 10 most facinating people? Did she run out of people on the planet? Goog God! What the hell makes him so facinating?

The most facinating thing about most of these people is that they are actually still working.

Just goes to show how limited the pool of talent really is.

Can't wait to see who she thinks is 'the' most facinating.

Ok, she nailed it. But the rest of them.....still pitiful.

Why you should never buy a paint pen at a dollar store.

2009-12-09T01:23:00.003-04:00

I did, and I regret it.

I thought I would put a little bit of silver on the guide of my printer so I could see better where to put the cd cartrige in. It was black on black.

So I shook the pen and pulled the top off.

Unfortunately the entire top came off as I was leaned over the printer.

This is the aftermath.

At least none got inside the printer, it just looks hellish. And it is never coming out of the carpet.

Recycle

2009-12-08T12:54:00.002-04:00

I thought I might dig up the ol' 12 days of Christmas that I did a couple years ago...if I can find it, that is.

It's beginning to look a lot like ...

2009-12-06T13:37:00.004-04:00

It snowed this morning.

This is now my desktop picture.

Oh...and I saw this in the bank the other day. It is the exact replica of the nativity scene we had as kids. Right down to the stable construction. I was gobsmacked.

How can this be?

2009-12-05T19:58:00.003-04:00

I can't believe my sister has been alive 49 years and has never seen White Christmas.

How is that even possible?

This is the scene we are watching right now.

And she is watching this with a big goofy grin on her face. (Shhhh, don't tell her, I don't think she realizes it.)

That's what a classic will do for ya. It just isn't Christmas without a little Bing.

This is my favorite bit from the movie.

Next up, Christmas in Connecticut and then maybe the Bells of Saint Mary's or Holiday Inn.

If you have not seen these classics, you might want to give them a try. I know everyone always watches It's a Wonderful Life, but these others will also put you in the Christmas spirit.

UGH!

2009-11-30T15:21:00.002-04:00

Gonna have to format the Vista machine. Not looking forward to it, but at least I have the laptop to use while that is going on.

But you just know...I am going to forget to backup something.

Drivers probably.

UPDATE: fuckin' thing won't boot from cd

The benefits of broadcasting your misfortune.

2009-11-29T01:13:00.000-04:00

My friends now know I am penniless. As I was trying to figure out what I could make to eat for the day, Kimmy calls from work.

Someone screwed up an order, did I want it?

Of course I do.

Pork free.

2009-11-28T13:21:00.006-04:00

The Boy and I went and got our H1N1 shots.

I have to say that once we were all permitted to get the shot, the team that organized it had a really great system going. I just wished they had publicized it.

From news reports all you can see is endless lines, people waiting 4 and 5 hours for a shot. I was not looking forward to it. The first day I went over to the Y, I just drove through the parking lot and thought it was way too depressing to go in and wait in line. So I ditched.

The second day I was out getting blood drawn and figured I would bite the bullet and get it over with. When I got there there was a cheerful lady sitting at a table with what appeared to be stacks of business cards. (wish I had taken a pic, it was genius) They had 100 cards for each hour.

The stacks were appointment cards with times on them. From 10 am to 5pm. All you had to do was pick a time and take a card, for the next day. It was so simple, not sure why everyone was not doing it this way.

I got two and informed The Boy he was getting his as well the next day at noon.

Of course we were late, we arrived at 12:20. We filled out our forms and were given a number. There were only maybe 20 people ahead of us. We got our shots at 12:45 and were out of there by 1. (They wanted you to sit for 15 min, in case you took a reaction.

Someone needs to share this system with the rest of the country.

Long Story.

2009-11-28T12:08:00.003-04:00

As you may know, I have been off work for a month. I have been paid for two of those weeks by the insurance company.

They faked me out. When the doctor originally said 3 weeks, the insurance company just approved it. No real hassle at all, adding that 'if your doctor says you need more time, just send these forms', and I did. Now all of a sudden they are not sure I should be off.

The problem is, I have no diagnosis yet. All my doctor knows is that my blood pressure is not that great but its the heart rate that is going to kill me. My resting rate has gone as high as 151 bps. That would be fine if I was an infant, but not so good when you are in your 40's.

So, on the 16th, the insurance company says, they need a note from the doctor, so I give them one on the 18th. In it she writes that she is concerned about stressors and says shit like dysrhythmia and tachycardia. The note scared me, so should be enough for the insurance chick, right?

Wrong. On the 19th she says it is not enough. This all wouldn't be so bad if I lived with my doctor, but all this shit takes so long cuz I have to turn around each time and make an appointment with the doctor. (Sadly I am not her only patient) Apparently, just because I could take a heart attack at any moment, this is not a good enough reason for me not to take calls. They don't see why I couldn't take calls right up until the moment I take that heart attack.

Then someone says to me, "Well at least your unemployment insurance should kick in."

"What?" No one mentioned this before, I guess I could have applied for that at the same time as the short term disability. So I apply for that on the 20th, but of course I need a record of employment from my employer (who says they can't get that to me until Dec 10th) and a note from the doctor. Oh, and there is a two week waiting period.

I put that on the burner and go back to the doctor on the 23rd, she is pissed at this point and writes a long strongly worded letter and sends the insurance company chick about 16 pages of data. I also get her to fill out the UI doctor form, just in case. The government doesn't really give a shit why you are off, all they need is the doctor saying you should be. That is it. I should have went this way in the beginning.

Now I have to sit and wait. Penniless. It all looks like I will be back to work before I ever see another cent.

R.I.P. Mininova

2009-11-27T16:35:00.003-04:00

This will stop us for all of ten seconds.

10 Alternatives To Mininova

Thanks to Sonny and Adele and Kimmy.

2009-11-24T00:51:00.003-04:00

His Mama didn't raise no fool!

2009-11-22T08:47:00.000-04:00

I would have never admitted it at the time, but...

2009-11-17T17:54:00.003-04:00

When I was a teenager, I was totally (secretly) in love with Mikhail Baryshnikov.

My friends would have thought I was a complete idiot. So I never let on.

Who did you secretly love/admire/lust after when you were a teenager?

40 years.

2009-11-17T12:39:00.003-04:00

Yes, I realize I am older than Sesame Street. I have been seeing a lot of it this week because of the 40th anniversary.

I remember this one, it made me cry then and now.

LOL I remember trying to sing this one.

I actually bought an album last year with this one on it. (Yes I said ALBUM, as in vinyl)

It ain't easy.